There’s more than one virtual world of course. We “travel” to as many as we can find whenever possible – when it’s not too busy in real life. In Oculus Quest, I had been in VR Chat a few times – but it’s not that much fun when you are alone, even if the presentation is dynamically awesome.
It’s different being in worlds where the colors are pure and and the view unspoiled, and ones where the setting is almost reality – except no dust on sills and the only insects are the ones someone created. At least for me, it sets up a feeling of awe that permeates my whole mine when I am inworld. I’ve noticed some people don’t feel that and seem to take it for granted. I’ve been around some people who rarely feel deeply about much of anything. There are some for whom nature holds that kind of awe; the kind where you want to notice and check out everything around and exclaim over it.
I’m sure being alone in a virtual world feels a lot like being in heaven alone. You want to share – you don’t want to be alone in it. I’ve tried to share “awesome” with quite a few people in my life, but felt something lacking in their responses, OR it was confined to just natural habitats and they didn’t “get it” for the virtual.
All this to say that last night, W and I were able to share VR Chat for the first time. He found it as amazing as I do and it was gratifying to see that. It heals something when I am able to have someone feel what I feel right down to the exact emotions. This is what I’ve been reaching for all my life. My parents took me to some awesome places in childhood, for travel and across the country. But I never got the feeling they felt as I did about those places. My mother and I spent a week in an airstream on a mountain and I “got” that she enjoyed it as I did (even though I had a cold at the time). But I never *saw* those emotions in her that I felt somehow.
I am writing this blog about the virtual – but in my thinking, the /feeling/ of being there is important because it is what draws me. I am also drawn to the outdoors, but that is more complicated (bugs, weather) and I enjoy it more when not alone. So it was such a wonderful time for me last night because he was there to share it and had the same emotions about it. And that’s the thing, not only does he “get” me, but sometimes it feels as if he “is” me.
I’ve been frustrated in my life by persons who didn’t seem to get a high from awesome places – yes they were stable, but also “flat” in expressed emotions such that I never felt quite compatible. I wasted too much time trying to spent time in natural surroundings to get that out of them and it couldn’t be had for the most part. Once or twice I’ve been in relationships where people did feel that, but there were so many other detractions that it couldn’t last. I’m sure they are still out there getting “high on nature” (and other things).
When we first went in, it was noisy and crowded, even though the room was called “Calm”. It was a small two-story house with seating and objects everywhere and a rainy back yard. We noticed the grass in the backyard. In Opensim and Second Life, we are used to virtual grass that moves a bit. But this grass was more interesting than anything we’ve seen there. It moved with an invisible wind in a way that looked real, and yet was pure blades with no brown or dirty spots. It was a nice place to sit outdoors under a sheltered roof with the rain coming down (almost like the meditation cave in “Alcove”) but there were others there.
Then I learned how to turn the voices and music way down and it became much more enjoyable. Did some more reading and learned we could recreate all the “worlds” and only let in who we wanted. So I remade “Calm” for just the two of us and after a bit we were able to share that world with just us two. We experimented with some objects and discovered there was a game of
“Wordle”. W had played it before, but it was new to me. So now we have another game to share.
So now he’s excited about going back in and I am excited to share it with him AND I can do it on Oculus Quest, which I think means if he touches me in that virtual world the controllers will signal that. I can’t wait to find out.
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